Divorce is the hardest thing you think you’ll never do. Mine was final in 2017.
To that point in my role as a pastor, I had not officiated a wedding. I’d help but never alone. Then I received the invitation and I felt unworthy of such an honor. The couple ministered to me saying perhaps this will bring me healing as well as joy to them. It was a step toward ridding the mostly self-imposed shame. Although I always worried that people saw me as a failure with small kids, which were harsh words I spoke to myself.
Earlier this year I was asked to officiate a vow renewal for a couple married 50 years. Getting to know them was my pleasure. Hearing about their love and challenges and still being together because they wanted to be married was as hopeful as balm spread over an open cut. At the ceremony, one could see their deep, shared connection. The groom even proposed “properly” as he put it because the original proposal was over the phone. I mean there was not a dry eye in the house!
The couple’s love and their family’s love for them and each other was just overflowing. That day invited me to admit to myself my desire to love and marry again --- someday.
Even saying this I cringe (yikes that was vulnerable) a little not knowing how you’re reading this. But here’s the deal, it’s true. I trust this feeling coming up in me.
Trusting myself and the feelings I experience is healing me. I’m relearning to trust myself, my decisions, and my desires.
As a woman, mom, pastor, and Christian trust is everything. It’s key to my relationships with myself, boys joys, congregation, and God. What’s a truth you know in your heart but haven’t admitted aloud? It may take time and it may take learning a new skill to help bring it out.
This Thursday at 1:30 CST we’re going there…talking about trust and learning a skill to help you practice it. This free workshop will cover:
Key ingredients of trust
Using optimism to build trust and connection
How can trust and optimism work together to help people look ahead and build support for a better future?
Spread the word, it’s free and open to the public. Just register here
Two songs have been in my spirit 'Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus (this one is the Winans and I had some chur'ch in my house IYKYK) and India Arie'sThere's Hope
© Charity Goodwin, 2023.
